Pitiful Conversations

It's so sad what children do to their Mother's social life. We go from being care-free and clickin' our heels...to dragging 90 pound diaper bags around our necks like a noose. OK, maybe not quite that dramatic...but take this conversation I had with a dear friend the other day;

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

Me: "Hello"?

Dear Friend: "Hey! Haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to check in!"

Me: "Oh! Hey Lady, what's crackilackin?" (Yep..I really said that)

DF: "Oh not much...just getting kids ready for school..you know how that goes. How 'bout you?"

Me: "Just about the sa...."

DF: "Wait, hang on one sec, "GRAYSON, I SAID, IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN???"....Sorry about that, oh wait, No, Grayson...not those paper towells, those are Daddy's garage towells. Use these. OK. Sorry again. Go ahead."

Me: "Oh well, I was just saying things are..."

DF; "hang on...hang on. Sorry. Kimberly? Kimberly? Is that you? Kimberly? Kimberly?hang on one sec"

Me: "Um, ok."

*phone muffles...barely*

DF: "KIMBERLY JANE. GET in HERE! Do you not hear me calling you? Kimberly? Kimberly? KIMBERLY??!!?!?!??!"
"Oh my goodness....TEENAGERS!...now what were you saying?"

Me: "Oh, I don't really remember. Nothing important. Um, do you wanna call me back when you aren't..."

DF: "Oh, Kimberly...sorry, one sec...Kimberly, I need you to get the checkbook out of the top drawer of my desk in the computer room....Ok...go ahead"

Me: Do you want to call me back when you....

DF "NO KIMBERLY! THE TOP DRAWER. No, No, Not that one. No, the other one. No. Kimberly, Look. In. The. Top. Drawer."

Me: Why don't you call me back?

DF: "OK, it was great catching up with you!"

Me: "um. ok. sure."

DF: "Grayson, no, not like that. This one. Wash like......CLICK"




P.S. Names were changed to protect the obnoxious.