Laying Tiger to rest today...

I've been taking care of a kitty that doesn't belong to me for a while now. His owner lived in a neighborhood on a busy road in Ft. Worth, and this cat doesn't allow you to leave him indoors. So, I took him in. Hey...free cat food.

About a week after my beloved Tigie went missing, the house-guest kitty (Simba) came home one evening quite lethargic. The next morning he started to hemorrhage, and continued bleeding for about an hour. With no way to get him to a vet, and no money to afford one..I took care of him the best I could. After about 3 days, he started acting better. He was walking around, eating, drinking without me holding the bowl under his nose. He was still 'leaking', not blood..but not good either (gross, I'm sorry) so I had to keep him in the garage. Then in my bathroom once it got too cold outside. The last 2 days, he's been slowly losing steam. He was lethargic again, couldn't eat or drink without my help. Yesterday, it was again warm enough to put him in the garage. My bathroom had started to stink pretty bad, regardless of how many times I put out clean sheets.

I knew when I carried him back to the garage that he was a goner. His eyes were glazed over, and he was so limp. When I put him down, he stood there shaking until I moved his body into a laying position. At some point, he moved to the concrete floor and stretched out. My guess is he had a high fever, and died sometime in the night.

At this moment, the kids don't know. I'm waiting on Simba's owner to come take care of his body. The garage door is locked, so the kids won't inadvertently find him.
I am pissed off at this 'friend' of mine. The cat wasn't important enough for him to drive out here and get to a vet. But he offered to come 'get rid of him' for me days ago. I assumed that meant abandoning a very sick animal, which wasn't exactly an option. I didn't love Simba, but I couldn't allow him to be tossed aside like that...while he was still living, anyway.

Theres also the little fact that Tigie is still missing. Though, I really can't say I believe he's alive anymore. Watching Simba go through this hell made me very paranoid that someone is either purposely or stupidly hurting animals around here.
Something isn't right, and I can only pray if that is the case, that Tigie didn't hold on as long as Simba did.

I was never a cat person. Once, a long time ago.. I had Gypsy. I loved her, but never felt the need to replace her when she jumped over the balcony to go make a family, and never returned. Tiger was my lovey. He was a link to my best friend, and I cherished him all the more for that. I've missed him for almost 3 weeks now, and held out hope that he'd come home to me. Even after Simba became so ill, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was watching him die of the same thing that took Tiger from me. I didn't want to believe what I felt deep down.

We know when we lose something precious to us. If we listen to our hearts, we'll hear the truth. I've known Tiger was gone, and couldn't or wouldn't admit it to myself. So, I'm admitting it now. I'm laying him to rest in my heart and letting go.

P.S. Jennifer, I'm so sorry.