Tuesday, December 9, 2008

An open letter to my X

(I am officially screwed. There goes Christmas. Shit. There goes, EVERYTHING. Without getting too into detail, suffice it to say that the X has struck again. A click of his mouse, and $1500 gone from my world. There's another $1000 floating around that I may or may not eventually receive also.)

Sergio,

Have you completely lost your fucking mind? Have you finally eaten enough pills and swallowed enough booze that your last brain cell fled into the herpes infested night? You are a pathetic moron, and it is my deepest hope that one day you wake up and find the world has left you in a puddle of your own feces and vomit.

I was on track. Doing SO well, and finally proud of myself for being a GOOD single Mom, for not being one of those women who rely on the knight in shining armor to come in and save me. Then you took it all away. Why? What happened? How did you go from wanting to fix our marriage to financially destroying the Mother of your child without so much as an email exchanged between us?

This has been harder than I ever expected. Moving into a home as the only provider for my children, setting us up in this town where we're strangers, being alone every day because my kids come first...and I've fought every step of the way to keep good food on the table, shampoo & soap in the bathrooms, and shoes on my babies feet. There have been days where I've wanted to give up. Just wanted it all to go away because I didn't feel strong enough to face the next mountain, but damn you...I DID IT. Half the time with no car, and 3/4 without a phone. What have you gone without???

Every time I have managed to speak to you, you're coming back from Best Buy, Hatch Cover, Chili's, Rick & Amy's. I haven't once complained. Or called you out for being a selfish son of a bitch. But this takes the cake. You have stolen from my children. Your OWN daughter. And you didn't just screw up Christmas this time.. This time you've screwed it all. It wasn't just money Sergio. It was our LIFE. Our rent, bills, and yes, our Christmas also.

I'm done. I can't even think anymore to write. I think my mind may be taking an unauthorized vacation.

3 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Oh, honey...I'm so, so sorry. I could tell you what a cock-suckin'-mother-fuckin'-piece-of-dog-shit-bastard I think your ex is, but you already know all that ;-) I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better.

Why don't you send me your address, so I can at least send you a Christmas card full of Christmas blessings. lisa5868@excite.com

Washington Cowgirl said...

What a waste of breathe. I can't believe what a rat bastard he is. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that crap. You don't deserve it and neither do your kids. I don't know if you're religious or not (I am) but he is going to have to account for everything he's done to you and your kids. (That doesn't help much does it?). Jerk!
Two other things:
1. Can I add you as one of my friends on my blog?
2. My email is hb3_15@hotmail.com, if you're comfortable sending me your address, I want to send something to your fam.
PS: As they say on Scrubs your X is a "bastard covered bastard with bastard filling."

ladyfi said...

I feel for you. My sympathies.