Prank gone wrong...

I can't stop laughing, or I'd give you a description of this video. You're just going to have to listen for yourself.

Giveaway...Hurry!!

You deserve a Christmas present. You do! I saw you on Santa's nice list the other night when we met up in the ghetoo! But, since Santa has much younger folks to concern himself with these days, he's not gonna just wrap up a little sumthin-sumthin for you without some effort on your part.

Don't get all worried. I know you have a lot to do. Presents to wrap, cookies to bake, and parties to plan...so this isn't going to be difficult. Just go here, leave a comment and if Santa picks you you'll get some goodies! If he doesn't, then keep reading and I promise you'll find something you can make for yourself that will fill the void. (And if you hate crafty things, then maybe you'll pick up some tips on how to never pay for toothpaste or toilet tissue again!) But hurry...I hear Santa has a spontaneous streak, and you never know when he'll click that button!

I hope everyone is having a lovely and peaceful Sunday afternoon. I know I am. An elf showed up and whispered in my ear. I can't tell you what he told me yet because it'll ruin the surprise, but stay tuned...because it's for you!

Pure Talent...

This guy gives new meaning to, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Magical Quote; "I'm trying to teach the world that 'nothing' doesn't exist."

I need your good thoughts...

My kitty is missing. I know, to some, it seems silly to get so upset over an animal. He's a part of my heart though, and it's been a rough couple of days without him.
So please, put some of your good wishes in a bubble and send them our way.
And, to my Tigie;

I know how much you love the cold baby boy, but Mommy loves you. So, come home and eat. Then you can go play again.

Love,
Your crying human

Excuse me, Mr. President...

I've played with the desire to write about the election for the last week. I didn't want to because (as proven by the results) my views run the minority, and I'd rather not cause conflict if I don't have to.

All I'm going to say is that I am disappointed.
Fundamentally, I do not agree with many of Barack Obama's platforms. But, I am an American. I support our country, and the people have spoken.

I am angry that military personnel stationed overseas were unable to vote because they didn't receive their ballots in time. It seems to me, those were some pretty important votes and regardless of the landslide they mattered. Someone made a huge mistake that better damn well be fixed in 2012.

That being said, prove me wrong President Obama.

Tiger-Jac

This is Tiger-Jac. Beena's got him in a choke hold because...well, because she's evil. Don't try and make me feel better about it either. I've come to terms and I'm sure it's a phase she'll eventually grow out of. Either that, or she'll channel her energy into becoming the next Stephen King.
Focus! This is about the cat. Do not allow her cute-ness to deter you from my original thought. Which was...was...$hit.

Oh ya, the Cat. Tiger-Jac. Tiger came into our lives by way of my Jen-nay. He was/is her baby. But, I stole him. He's freakin' cool man. Okay, I didn't steal him. Jen had life to deal with and needed a place for him to stay for a while. I hadn't had a cat since my beloved Gypsy jumped off the balcony to go get laid and never came back, so it was a nice change of pace. Then I fell for him, and refused to give him back. (Sorry Jen. I love you lady!) Oh man. This cat is somethin'! He knows. He cuddles when I need to be cuddled, leaves me alone when I need to be left alone, and he doesn't use a litter box! See, he knows how much work I already have to do, so he uses the bathroom outside like a good boy.

As previously mentioned, Beena is evil! Without fail, at least once a day, she grabs Tiger-Jac around the neck and drags him to whatever her destination may be. Most cats would claw the heck out of my precious demon, but Tiger just looks at me with a plaintive look on his face and meows sorrowfully to express his desire for release. His reward for having the patience of a saint?
Plastic milk tops. Yep. I wish everything in life were that simple.

Got Tagged!

Since, I've been at my Mommy's house, I've been regressing. I suddenly feel the urge to tattle when anyone makes me mad, I'm eating copious amounts of comfort food, sleeping in, ohhhh...I could really get used to this.

In keeping with theme, I've been tagged. And, I didn't even hear anybody say they were "It." That's sort of like cheating isn't it? It is!!! MOMMY!!! It was HER!

Here are the ruley-rule-rules. Don't expect me to follow them to the T, cause I'm in my teenage phase at the moment and am feeling particularly rebellious.

The rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

• I'm a nomad. I get really bored after a couple of years in one place and have to move. It makes for an interesting lifestyle at times, but one I've had to tame since I'm now supposed to be all grown up and responsible and $hit.


• For my 23rd birthday my girlfriend and I had matching butterfly's tattooed. Her's is on her neck. Mine is a secret.


• In my fantasy world, one of the gazillion songs I've written is picked up by a major artist, and I only find out when I turn on the radio and hear my words being sung in a heavenly voice. Then, I go home and find a check for a hundred billion dollars in the mailbox. Sweet 'eh?


• I really want some cider donuts today. It's become an affliction, and I can't think of anything else. Thanks for that!


• I'm listening to crickets chirping, birds singing, the wind rushing through the trees, and an occasional splash from trout (I hope) in the river. You're jealous..aren't you?


• I worry too much


• Love, love, loooooooove True Crime stories. I'm obsessing over the Changeling right now. (Though, from what I've read, the movie is highly fictionalized from the 'true' story)

And, that's it. 7. That was a whole lot harder than it actually looked. And, since I'm from a generation of slackers, I'm not going to tag anybody. (really..I just don't think anyone knows who I am and am too afraid of rejection to try.) (Really, who are you kidding? Rejection? Whatevs!) (Really, it's all kinda true. hehehehehehe)

Oh ya, and a shoutout to my homie on the Midland P.D. who welcomed a brand new baby boy into the world on MY birthday. Over eight pounds. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. Next time, might I recommend a little less miracle grow? Oh ya, and get your wife a spa day. NOW! I said, MOVE BOY!!

Nectar for the soul.....

Personality through portraits

I sometimes do these types of things to pass the time and laugh at how inaccurate they actually are. This one was dead on. Surprisingly, when I read through the pages at the end...I really felt like it was talking about me.
Try it out, and let me know if yours is as good a match for your personality as mine was!

Yaaaaawn

Holy...What happened?...Where am I? Who am I? Whuz goin' on here?
I just got out of bed. No, I'm not sick. No, noone has died. No, there hasn't been a catastrophic emergency that had laden me with fear and reduced to a crumbling mess of nerves and therefore I stayed in bed to wait out the bad times like an old Victorian lady...though, that might be cool.
Nope. Just slept in. Till Noon.
Let me clarify, I did get up at 6:30 as usual to wake up the older Turkey's. But, as I was pulling the box of cereal out of the pantry for their breakfast of champions, Turkey #1 says, "Mom, you never have a morning without Corrina, why don't you go back to sleep and I'll let you know before we get on the bus." (That child is friggin' amazing, I tell ya!)
It is unbelievable what a full night (and half the day)'s sleep can do for you.
The wind is blowing outside, and my chimes sound beautiful. There's a cool breeze coming in through the open windows, that smells heavenly. The dogs are chillin' out peacefully, and I haven't heard a baby cry in 24 hours.
Someone come pinch me so I'll know this is real.

Here's Your Sign

I am not the smartest person in the world. Although, I like to think of myself as savvy and resourceful the reality is that I live in a truly chaotic world created solely by moi.
Yesterday, I realized that the grass on the side of the house had turned into a veritable field of weeds. These are the moments when I curse being single. I'm not going to go into detail. Mostly because I would like to keep you in the mindset that I've got a few working brain cells and use them as necessary. But, also because my hand still hurts like the dickens and I don't feel like typing very much.
I burned the pinkie and middle fingers of my right hand on the muffler of the lawnmower. There. I said it. Laugh. C'mon. You can, I won't be upset. Well, too upset anyway.
I've got two spots that are second degree burns and the rest are light first degree that really just itch like crazy. The 'spots'. Oh. My. Gosh.
I won't keep this up, because I'm no crybaby...but I am going to soak my hand in icy saltwater.

Performance Junkie

So, I had a post planned out for today and instead ended up in the hospital with 2nd degree burns on my right hand. I'd explain, but too many people have already laughed at me. Plus, typing us a pain in the rear.
I've been you-tubing to pass the time, and found this old Pepsi commercial that fully feeds the performance junkie in me. Enjoy, and check back later...I'll detail my idiocy for you so you can laugh at me too!

My First Bloggy Award!

One of my favorite daily reads awarded me my first Bloggy Award. Thanks SO much! It's neat to know there's one or two people out there who stop by now and again to pick through my brain matter. :-)
Of course, like all good things, this one comes with conditions. Which I am happy to oblige with...so here's your meme, and Thanks again!

(One words answers only)

1. Where is your cell phone? kitchen
2. Where is your significant other? HA
3. Your hair color? natural
4. Your mother? rocks
5. Your father? fish
6. Your favorite thing? babies
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your dream/goal? independence
9. The room you're in? bedroom
10. Your hobby? cooking
11. Your fear? tragedy
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? relaxed
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? patient
15. One of your wish-list items? book
16. Where you grew up? Texas
17. The last thing you did? forced
18. What are you wearing? pajamas
19. Your TV? loud
20. Your pet? chill
21. Your computer? works
22. Your mood? tired
23. Missing someone? always
24. Your car? crap
25. Something you're not wearing? ring
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your summer? stressful
28. Love someone? Lots
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? minutes
31. Last time you cried? days

The other rule is you're supposed to pass this on to seven people...and frankly, I don't know seven people who have any idea that I exist. I'm kind of a nomad that way. So, look to your right. See my coffee break list? If you're on there...you deserve this award. Cause I stalk you daily. So, grab your bling, do the meme and get back at me(me). mmkay?

Alec the Highlander

This video was made by a friend of ours quite some time ago.
It depicts Turkey #2 as "Alec the Highlander" and Turkey #1 as "the Villain"........you can also hear Turkey #3 wailing in the background at one point. I believe she was only about 5 months old or so at the time, so she was most likely wailing for boobage. TMI? Sorry. My bad.
It's a great video and one that makes me laugh because it's so indicative of their true personalities. Watch, and see!

Also, please excuse the spelling of "coming" at the end, and understand that it was truly a typo on behalf of the guy who created the video. He's a bad A$$ soldier, and I'd trust him to protect my children in the line of fire....In a spelling bee ~ not so much.

Enjoy!


Alec the Highlander

Asserting my Independence

Ahhhhh...Naptime! The small niche in my day where I can fold laundry, or empty the dishwasher in peace. I love naptime. I might (once or twice a year) use naptime as a time to catch up on housework that I can't do when the Demon child is awake. (Like all of them) Or, I could spend an hour or so outside weeding my pretend flower beds & mangled vegetable garden.
But, on an average day I use this time as mine.
If I want to try on every outfit in my closet in the hopes that I might someday meet another adult outside my house, for dinner~I will.
If I want to chat on the phone aimlessly for an hour about nothing in particular~I will.
Or, if I want to soak in the bathtub, blessedly uninterrupted, until my toes shrivel up and fall off~I most certainly will.
Cause I can. Cause it's my time. And, cause I'm the Alpha Dog around here!
Uh-oh. Sounds like someone disagrees. Gotta go.


P.S. Go check this out at Jenny's Happy Life and win something for the Turkey's in your life!

Craziness

So so strange...just had to do a quick post. About an hour after I wrote regarding my car being repossessed...I got a phone call that a friend of mine had come through on his offer to give me his Mother's car when he bought her a new one, and my boss was on his way back from Oklahoma with the car on a flat bed trailer.
The offer was made as a bonus for work the company did on a house, but I didn't actually think it would ever come to fruition. (Only because I'm a pessimistic Dolly-downer)
Hallelujah!
Couldn't have happened at a better time. For so many reasons.

My Jen-nay

Happy Birthday lady! I wish we were celebrating together and not trapped in separate states. I want you to know I'm thinking of you, even though I can't be there for you.
You are an awesome woman, a rockin' Mama, and an amazing BFF. I love you, and I'm always here for you.

Hug Your Turkeys

...that's all I wanted to say. They're too fragile not to, so just hug them.

mmm...Coffee

Pioneer Woman is my hands down favorite blog. I check her website before I check my email. I love, love, love her writing style.
I could go on & on...but that would be kind of stalker style, so I won't. But, (I love butts) she recently requested that her lovely readers ask her whatever question they've been dying to know regarding her culinary skills. Since I couldn't ask her to come live at my house & cook with me Rachel Ray style everyday, I asked a simple question.
And you know what?
She answered it. More than a thousand comments & mine was answered.

I feel like the popular kid in the blogosphere high school just invited me to the Party of the Year!

So, here is my question & The Esteemed Pioneer Woman's response.

For a coffee lover, I haven’t seen an iced coffee recipe…and since it’s my current obsession, do YOU have one?
I’m an iced coffee lover—I drink it every morning. Here’s what I do: Grind a pound of coffee beans. Put the coffee grounds in a large pitcher. Fill it with warm water, cover the pitcher with a towel, and let it steep for at least 12 hours on the kitchen counter. Then I strain it with a very fine mesh strainer into a container with a lid. Then I store it in the fridge and use it over the next couple of weeks. To make the iced coffee, I fill a glass with ice, then fill the glass half full with the cold coffee-liquid-concoction-potion stuff. Then I splash cold milk—or, if I’m feeling particularly naughty, half & half—over the top, and stir in a tiny bit of sugar. Oh, lawsie MERCY, it’s good. You can also just mix in water if you don’t like creamy iced coffee. You can also mix in ICE CREAM if you want to sell your soul.

Knowing that PW makes her own iced coffee too (and it's just as serious a process as mine) made my day. If you haven't read her, you really should check her out. Her recipes are easy, & fun. Written in a style that makes people like me look like Martha in the kitchen. (With a lot less perfection than Martha)
I won't get started on her photography. Go see it for yourself. And swoon.

It's Britney Bitch.

I'm just gonna say it;

Britney Spears better damn perform at the VMA's on Sunday. As a Mother (and a woman with mental issues) I'm rooting for her hardcore. I don't care if her family made her crazy, or if K-Fart is going to take half of what she makes off of MTV this weekend....girl owes it to the people who watched with bated breath, as she turned into the raving lunatic we all wish we could be! (Admit it...Starbucks, sex, & rock 'n' roll? Don't fight it. Release your inner demon)
She's a performer. I don't care if you like her music. Her dancing. Her antics. She's a damn good performer and has been since she popped out of her (just as) Crazy (as me) Mama.
I will be buying her next cd. And, as someone who hasn't bought a cd in 6 years, that's progress.


UPDATE: Way to go! 3 Moonmen for Pieces of Me. A song produced in the throes of mental destruction. Now. Show us what you can really do.